Hiding.
my sister, who doesn’t like the fact that I’m gay, finally grew the balls to ask me why I don’t hide myself and my girlfriends. To be honest, it’s not like I flaunt who I’m with in front of my family. Yes they come to family parties and get togethers, but I keep it G. Only, and this is the only reason, because I know my family is homophobic. I hug her in front of them but it’s not like I kiss her. I am out and everyone knows I’m gay. Yes, I don’t really look the part if you see me out and about. That’s because I like to dress nicely, and I am the a CEO of a company I have to look professional. She asked me why I go to church if it’s a sin. I told her that God loves me for the bible tells me so. We laughed. I have a very strong faith, and I like going to church. She also asked me why I fall in love with girls. This is a question I was waiting for her to ask me, this is what I said, ” Ely, I look at girls the way you look at boys. When I am in a relationship with one I feel as though I am not lying to myself. I feel like everything is right in the world and nothing can take that way. I love girls because that’s the way I am. I was born this way. This wasn’t a choice. The choice was trying to fall in love with boys to make the family happy. Here’s where I found out that it’s not about making you happy. I have to be happy, and comfortable with myself. And i am. I can wake up every morning and say i am happy with my life. Because I am. Love isn’t about gender Ely, it’s about who your heart jumps for. Like you with Adam. I see the way you look at him, and the way you smile because I just said his name. You’re in love. That’s the way I feel when I’m in love with a girl.” she looked at me and asked me is that why I spent so much time with Courtney and Jessica. Yeah I was in love. Deeply in love. When she asked why I was still friends with Courtney I said “cause her and I know each other. And we get along like no other.” She is opening up to me now. Which I like, maybe now that she understands more we can have a real sister and sister relationship. One can only hope. Thanks for just scooping past it. :D
